All I hear is the blah, blah, blah

I don’t know if you’ve gotten this feedback before: “In your story, try to show more, don’t tell.” I have. In fact, I got this feedback just yesterday in the judge’s comments from the first round of the NYC Midnight Microfiction 100 (FYI, I am moving on to round two!).

You hear this a lot when you’re a new writer but even writers with more experience get it. It is one of those things you need to work at, but you also need to know when you should “show” and when you should “tell” because there’s room for both in your writing.

So, what’s the difference?

The idea of “show, don’t tell” boils down to this: it is a way for authors to add drama to a novel. Instead of offering information that the reader just needs to accept (that’s telling), what you write can share something that the reader can experience (that’s showing). “Showing” helps the story unfold in a way that the reader feels like they’re part of it. When you “tell” it is more factual and doesn’t show a lot of detail.

Here's an example:

Telling: Barry is terrified of dogs.

Showing: Barry stopped in his tracks. Aunt Phoebe stood in the doorway, wrapped in her best Sunday frock, holding… a Chihuahua. Dragging in a ragged breath, Barry recited his mantra: You’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. Despite that, beads of sweat erupted from his forehead as he made eye contact with the little beast’s beady, bulgy eyes. Curling a lip, it yipped and the acid from his churning stomach clawed its way up Barry’s throat.

Okay, I went a little over the top with my showing example, but you get the idea. You can tell your reader Barry’s afraid of dogs—or you can help them experience his fear.

Remember, readers want an experience. They want to feel the emotions of the characters, and when that happens, they become invested in the story. They care what happens. To do that for your readers, you need to help them be fully immersed in your characters, how they’re feeling and what they’re experiencing.

Bring “show, don’t tell” in your own writing

1. Use dialogue

   Conversations matter, and the dialogue between your characters can make scene’s more vivid, more real, and contribute to “showing.” Maybe one of your characters has an accent, or a slang word they use. Maybe what they’re talking about adds texture to your scene or setting. Maybe their actions are at odds with their words, which brings us to…

   
   

2. Scenes need action

   Action can be lasers and explosions on spaceships, or it can be kicking the trash can over in frustration at the local fast-food place. Every scene needs actions that make sense (unlikely your space alien will feel compelled to kick over a trash can, but I suppose you never know. Bureaucracy is everywhere.) But in all seriousness, the actions in your scene need to fit your setting, characters, and the kind of story you’re trying to tell.

   
   

3. Don’t use generic words

   You should always opt for specific—don’t just say your character has a car. Get into what the car looks like. For instance, “The ’82 Chevy’s front quarter panel was rebuilt out of duct tape and prayers. Then Trevor noticed the fraying bungee cord that held the front bumper on and… was that a set of buckshot holes in the driver’s side door?”

   
   

   You don’t have to drown your reader in a flood of detail but paint a color picture for them, not just a black and white one.

   
   

4. Make your setting real to your readers

   How do you do this? Write about how characters view the world around them, how they interact with it. You want your reader to be able to picture themselves there, along with your characters. Establish your setting early on in your chapter and then use callbacks to remind your reader where they are. For instance, if you’ve established the setting is an auto body repair shop (I’m running with the car theme today), your character’s dialogue can be interrupted by the concussion of an impact wrench or maybe a hint of gasoline might be in the air.

   
   

“Showing” is great, but sometimes “telling” is the right choice

Most of your story will focus on “showing” but ‘telling’ has its place in your narrative, too. You need both, especially if you. Need to share something quickly, be very clear about something, or share critical information? Telling is probably the way to go.

Last but not least, take all advice with a grain of salt

It can be easy to get wrapped up in advice. This expert says to do things one way, but another expert says you should do it the opposite way. It can be confusing and frustrating. I don’t have all the answers, and neither does anyone else, especially when offering unsolicited advice. So, be inquisitive. Stretch your brain and learn everything you can and then take those tools and use them your own way.

And remember, your drafts get better as you go. If just “telling” helps you get the story out of your head, remember you can always go back and add more “showing” in a future draft. Write in a way that works for you.

 Toy Yoda photo by Rob Lara, Chihuahua photo by Herbert Goetsch and Words photo by Glen Carrie, all on Unsplash.